Self-love is often touted as the ultimate goal, a crucial foundation for a fulfilling life. But what does it really mean? And more importantly, how do we achieve it? In my journey from a place of deep pain to a space of empowerment and joy, I’ve discovered that the key to self-love lies in a few essential practices.
acceptance
Self-love begins with accepting ourselves exactly as we are, flaws and all. It’s about recognising that we are enough, just as we are. Acceptance doesn’t mean complacency; it means acknowledging our current state without harsh judgement, paving the way for genuine growth and change.
boundaries
One of the most transformative aspects of self-love is setting and maintaining boundaries. Boundaries protect our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They teach others how to treat us and help us stay true to ourselves.
self-compassion
We often extend kindness to others but forget to show the same compassion to ourselves. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same understanding and patience we would offer a dear friend. It’s about giving ourselves grace, especially during tough times.
authenticity
Embracing who we truly are and living authentically is a powerful act of self-love. This means aligning our actions, decisions, and lifestyle with our true values and beliefs, rather than conforming to external expectations.
nurturing body and mind
Taking care of our physical health through exercise, nutritious food, and adequate rest is a crucial part of self-love. Equally important is nurturing our mental health through practices like mindfulness, therapy, or simply taking time to relax and recharge.
self-love questions to ask yourself
To help you on your self-love journey, here are some questions to reflect on:
- What do I like about myself?
- How could I forgive myself?
- How do I find peace?
- What makes me happy?
- Do I deserve love?
- What am I holding on to?
- What do I need right now?
- What does happiness mean to me?
- How does this make me feel?
- Can I rely on myself?
Consider purchasing a lovely new notebook specifically for your journey—something that’s yours and that you will cherish. Use it to jot down your thoughts, answer these questions, and reflect on the present each and every day. Our journeys are so important, and we should treat them as though they are precious.
My Self-Love Journey: One Month In
I’m only a month into my dedicated self-love journey, and already, I’ve noticed some profound changes and key lessons which I would like to share with you to give you hope but also for you to know that it’s not as straight forward as it seems, and yet it can be as straight forward as you want it to be:
acceptance
This one is not easy for me, and I’m working on this daily. I am honouring what I need each day, and yes, I still get annoyed if I haven’t done certain things or haven’t “healed enough.” Even if I haven’t achieved enough tasks, whether work-related or personal, I’m learning to be gentle with myself. I’m trying not to put pressure on myself and see this as a huge learning curve and journey because I know my journey is really only just beginning, and there’s so much more to me coming!
boundaries
I’m actually really good at this now. Years ago, I wasn’t, but in the last year, I have changed a lot. Even in the last month, this has become so good. “No” is a full sentence. Not over-explaining things and allowing myself to be in control of my life has been a big eye-opener again. I used to be so independent, then became codependent in my marriage, and now I can really feel inter-dependency taking shape with my partner now. Setting and maintaining boundaries has empowered me to reclaim my independence and foster healthier relationships.
self-compassion
This is a BIG thing for me, and it feels so soothing, nurturing, and loving. It is a game-changer in healing. Practising self-compassion means giving myself the same kindness and understanding I offer to others. It involves recognising when I’m struggling and responding with care rather than criticism. It’s about acknowledging my feelings, validating them, and comforting myself. This practice has been incredibly transformative, allowing me to heal and grow from a place of love rather than judgement.
authenticity
Living authentically, true to who I am and not who I think I should be, has been a powerful shift. That word “should” is such a negative aspect of our lives. We often think we should be a certain way to meet others’ expectations, but letting go of that has allowed me to embrace a more free and authentic life. Being authentic means making choices that reflect my true self, even when it’s difficult. It means speaking my truth, pursuing my passions, and living in alignment with my values. This journey towards authenticity has been liberating and empowering.
nurturing my body and mind
This is so important, and I’ve recently realised how in tune I am with my body now. I used to be a dancer; it was my escape from life, and I didn’t really know it at the time. This is how I expressed myself, and I have done this my whole life. Music and dance are the essence of me, and I have now learnt to see this in my own work for healing with clients and myself. Meditation, breathwork, journalling, exercise, and yoga have played a massive part in this. Being in tune with my body has allowed me to understand and respond to its needs better. I know there’s more coming for me in these areas that will benefit so many people.

manifestation and vision boards
So far, I have also created a beautiful vision board for what I am calling in, what I’m manifesting into my life. Manifestation is the practice of bringing your desires into reality through focused intention and belief. By visualising what we want and affirming it regularly, we align our thoughts and actions with our goals, making it more likely for them to materialise. My vision board serves as a daily reminder of my goals and dreams, helping me stay focused and motivated on my journey.
the journey continues
These are all massively key points, some easier than others, and yet I know that if I keep going, just by being present, I’ll love myself more. I’ll find the true me, the one I am supposed to be, not who I should be. We are who we are, and we can be who we want to be, doing what we love because we can. We can embrace a more free and authentic life.
final thoughts
Self-love is a transformative journey that empowers us to live our best lives. It’s about accepting ourselves, setting boundaries, showing compassion, living authentically, and nurturing our body and mind. Remember, it’s a practice, not a destination. Celebrate your progress, forgive your missteps, and stay connected to your purpose. You deserve all the love you give to others.
If you’re ready to start your self-love journey or need support along the way, I’d love to help. Follow me on Instagram @theleeannebrown for daily inspiration and tips on self-love, or visit my website to learn more about working with me.
Together, we can create a life filled with love, joy, and authenticity.
With love and strength, Lee-Anne x
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